T.S.I. Ludlow

A few days ago, that little toilet paper roll holder, you know that spring-loaded rod thing, was reported as mysteriously missing.



Not long after that other reports came 'flooding' in: the toilet had begun showing dour signs of malfunction and imminent failure, with waters reaching terrifying new heights.



Witnesses called our attention to a person of interest seen fleeing the area shortly after the rod's disappearance...



...but incriminations would have to wait until the crisis at hand was abated. A quick response team swept into action armed with whatever makeshift tools were at hand...



...but little progress was effected against the swirling torrent now threatening to swamp the peaceful homestead with whatever evils those porcelain depths might belch up.

Stronger measures were in order and a rescue mission was launched to the Home Depot in the dark of night, to obtain whatever tools and products that could further aid us in our hour of need.



(...and speaking of hour, It had been several since lunch and time was running out, fast...)

After every avenue was attempted until the heavy movers were finally called in; the toilet was unseated from it's base and the belly of the beast fearlessly probed...gag reflexes held in check. The offending obstruction was found and lifted to safety with not a minute to spare.



Once business was back under way; a search net could then be cast for the fugitive. Baby-gates were placed at every doorway intersection. After a short foot chase the perp was apprehended, subdued with tickling, and brought in for questioning.





Under heavy questioning the accused adamantly stuck to her story; a series of consonants, gurgles and squeaks.

Finally the prosecution had to give in. No charges could be filed since the perp pleaded the fifth, on the grounds that she hadn't learned to speak yet; and was let off with just a vigorous pointing at the toilet roll and firm "Nooo!"...